The Bold Voice of J&K

Self-help for peaceful management of problems

51

Sahaj Sabharwal

The present is a world full of people with competitive minds. Competition is that much high that many people have to lose so as to provide top participants to be awarded. Some humans take motivation from the winners to improve in the next time while others get de-motivated with the successful winners. No doubt all did, not only ordinary work but smart hard-work but selecting the topmost of the real best is the toughest job. Giving preferences and priorities plays an important role. Many people get that much de-motivated or jealous that when they fail to get the desired position, they get into wrong addictions and suicidal thoughts too. At that difficult time we need to learn to Self Help by learning to be a good manager to manage/handle any situation without de-motivating ourselves. ‘Self Help is defined as the greatest weapon that we can use for peaceful management of our personal problems being independent by becoming a self motivating machine’At least we must be able to manage ourselves. No doubt, it’s not easy at all. But learning to do it successfully is real life. Self help is quite important because if we can’t help ourselves, then our negativity will create more negative results taking the advantage of our bad situation. In many quotes, articles, stories, writings, thoughts, prose and books you will find about ways to help yourself in the best way. But in reality no one can help you to learn self help because as it’s name describes self mean on your own and help means to aid or to assist, so you need to assist yourself. And you need to learn it on your own by gaining experience and practical knowledge, not just learning some words, lines or definitions but to extract benefit from it in your real life, because even books written by authors are based on their personal life experiences and their own thoughts, their own languages and opinions. Mostly all authors will give their own definition of self help if they are worthy. It’s quite important to study yourself because you yourself don’t know that that you are that you need to know to be successful. You can control your negative thoughts, temper, blood pressure, heart beat, pulse rate, bad vibes and also over positive thoughts just by understanding yourself. If you are unable to manage yourself then these negative points will force you to go into wrong addictions like drugs and may also become a reason for suicide. We don’t know the value of our life because we have never died. If we are alive we can still do anything than to die as a suicide. Suicide is the biggest failure and for that type failure all must be fearful. Just by keeping a mindset and a self help establishment we can avoid all these including depression, stress and tension. Refuse before suicide because after suicide the chances of being alive are quite less and the same you will never return and your death by your will create problem only for your love beings including parents, family and friends. Watching someone’s success can make you feel glad or bad depending upon your mindset. Just a failure in exam or a single step of life doesn’t mean that life is over for you or now the only way is to indulge in drugs and suicide, but if you are alive life will give you many chances before your death to improve, impress yourself. So suicide is not at all a step to take. Your length of life is not in your hand but when you try to take it, you think to end at any point that’s the failure all should be afraid. If you still can’t understand how to manage yourself or a particular situation goes to your parents, teachers, friends or any other person whom you think will motivate you. Just you need a motivational dose in form of helpful advice. At least they can stop you to reach your death. Before doing any such wrong things just think of your parents who gave you birth to live a long happy and cheerful life and on your birthday only they do all the preparations so that you feel happy, glad and satisfied. In fact, your mother who kept you for nine months just to see your face whether it’s of any color and type, for them you are beautiful as no one else because only your parents are really your own who bought you to this earth. Just to watch you successful they keep planning many things and working hard enough as rough to make your all dreams come true. But when you notice less marks, failure in something, break-up with girlfriend or boyfriend, less salary, unsatisfactory results, boring life, love failure etc. only such bad thoughts to commit suicide by jumping from somewhere, shooting yourself, hanging with fan, cutting your nerves etc. hits your mind hard. To overcome all these things is the real struggle. And to show all these problems that you are not less and you have your own value and you are powerful or superb enough to fight win, manage and deal with such issues. Many things are there you don’t want to discuss with anyone else even with your nearby people. In such cases, self helping, motivating, analysing, researching, achieving can only help you. Books or searching on internet could help you deal with your personal problems without letting others know. But whatever happens never think of suicide or to lose, because if you will not win then too you will gain great experience that will help you to win in your life being experienced. If you are an introvert, self-helping would play a great role in your life. As an extrovert too, you can help yourself without considering help from someone. On internet too there are a few drawbacks or wrong information as all things are uploaded by we the humans of this planet. As a human no one is perfect but we call can try to be as better as possible. So don’t depend totally on anything, use your mind, your experience, your knowledge and opinions to help yourself. Success without struggle is just like gaining marks without practice in which you can only get good percentage, but only you know that you are not that much successful that you got it. That’s also a source or personal demotivation as depressing stress. No one is weak before, no one is strong from the beginning, all tries, some wins, some fails and those who fails gain experience and more knowledge as compared to those who pass at the first time. They might not have seen those extra experiences as the failures gains before they become successful. Understand your purpose and your life. Keep you safe is the responsibility of your guardian but after estrangement or getting off the hands of your parents too, SELF HELP can keeping you safe. ‘Self Help can help you guide, by keeping your mindset wide.’

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