Deal children patiently amid corona


Dear Editor,
As parents, we all know that it is the most crucial time for children. From almost a year kids are at home dealing with this uncertainty. No school, no friends, no outing is making children depressed but remember patience is the only key to deal with children during this crucial time. Many times, the societal expectations, work pressure and household chores, make parents lose peace of minds. Parents are dealing with daily stress to manage deadlines and household chores while children are struggling with online studies and examinations.
During all this mess, being a parent, it is our duty to understand the stress children are going through and to help them out, we need to be patience and deal calmly with them. No doubt sometimes in such situations, we tend to say many such things to our kids that we should not. Saying certain things to your kids that you might feel are normal can have a negative impact on their minds.
Through your esteemed daily, I would like to share few things that we often say to our child but we should not. Being a mother, I feel it is our duty to raise kids in a healthy atmosphere and prepare them for challenges and competitions ahead in life, but in a positive manner. It is often seen that most kids are very slow when it comes to getting ready for school or when they are under a time pressure to do something. No matter how slow your kids are, pushing them will only make them more stressed. Shouting at them will make them more guilty and won’t motivate to do things faster. You can speed up things by making it a game like, ‘let’s see who reach the door first’. This will also teach your kid the importance of collaboration and team work.
We all need breaks but telling that outright to your kid can make them feel you are brushing them off and they might feel that there is no point talking to you. This can seriously affect their approach and behaviour towards you.
One can try various other ways of telling them if you need ‘me-time’. Like you can tell them that you have something important to do and you will play with them after you finish that. Make sure to fulfill the promise you made after you feel better. We all are guilty of comparing our kids to other kids around them. Though it’s also a little natural but whenever you do so make sure your kids do not hear you.
When you tell your kids to be like someone else, it promotes unhealthy competition. By saying such words you show that your wish your child was like someone else, which can hurt them. Instead, praise your child and encourage him to do better or what you want him to do. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool in shaping your kids as you want. How many times have you asked your child not to cry when they got hurt or upset about something. By doing this, you are only invalidating and discounting his feelings. This makes your kid feel that they have to brush-off their feelings, which can lead to more explosive outbursts. Tell kids it’s okay to cry if they feel like and there is nothing wrong in it. We as parents need to understand that all kids develop at different rates. Comparing them to yourself will only make them feel that they have disappointed you. Appreciating your kid’s effort is the best way of encouraging them and making them do what you want but in a positive manner. By following these simple steps, we can raise a healthy child with positive mind and approach.
Kunal Choudhary,
Langer, Kathua.